I'm going out on a date and my mother tells me to bring her food. I don't think anything of her request until, days later, I realize that she's asked me to bring her back food from my dates numerous times before. It got me thinking: Is she under the impression that the person I am dating must be able to please her too with his taste in meals, too? For a second, I tried not to take myself too seriously. Then I came to the conclusion that my mother truly believed that she was dating the guy too. I mean, when I really thought about it, she had always been curious as to where we were going, if it was a group or just us, and how much he spent. Looking back, I took these questions as nothing to be concerned with since she simply seemed as curious as any of my girlfriends. Then I remember: this is my mom. There had to be more behind it.
When family members become inquisitive (the nice way of saying 'nosey') about who I'm spending the majority of my time with, I find it to be annoying. Deep down I know that they are simply being protective and showing that they care. For that reason, I have no issues with saying who my friends are, their plans and mine for the day to 'authoritative figures.' However, when it comes to my personal life, I've always wondered when it would be best to draw the line. Checking in from their perspective, I guess, the guy I'm dating matters to them because there may be potential for a future with him and I, essentially making him family.
*** Yes, I'm jumping to conclusions about this, but I think it's okay for now. These hypotheticals are intended to force me to plan accordingly.
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To keep it short (and get to the point), I'd like to draw a conclusion: be careful of who you decide to date because they will be dating the entire family. Everyone has experienced meeting the parents of their significant other, and everyone knows that its important to make a good impression. You want them to approve of your dating so things can continue to sail smoothly. Fair enough. While this is something that many people consider a private matter and tend to only think about the daters, I would like to make a point that nothing is ever 100% secret anymore (especially if you are like me and are sharing an apartment with family). They (family) talk. Know that when you are dating someone, you are dating their family. Be careful. Likewise, when you marry someone that you are marrying inTO the family. As long as 'you' is a 'we,' then 'us' is the only pronoun you'll be using for a while.
Good luck!
Best,
MM :)
Lol why sex and lust are labels I'm not sure, however I agree with everything you said! I think it is difficult though when people are not close to their loved ones and are still technically marrying into that family. Everyone has a different relationship with their family and everyone's relationship with their partners is different. If the fam bam don't like you I don't think you should be down in the dumps. You two are grown consenting adults and will most likely continue to make more decisions (like dating someone they are not fond of) that your families may not agree with.
ReplyDeleteSHAHH NELL
Hey, the labels are simply to get more readers aware of what I'm posting. Still, you're right. The not-so-happy-family however can often cause issues later on. Thanks for the comment.
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