Social Cost Of Pornography

Photo Credit: Google

Scenario: Girlfriend finds porn on her Boyfriend's computer, phone, bookshelf, trunk, shoebox underneath the bed, wallet, closet, DVD player and dresser drawer on different occasions. She's upset because she feels that he is, after having looked at so much porn, going to expect so much of her sexually. Now, it's not that homegirl is not confident in her skills to please him, but that she is just not into the kind of stuff that porn promotes. Years later, they marry. Same woman, now called a wife, confronts husband about his obsession with porn because she 'senses' that the porn overdose will make them emotionally distant from each other because she believes that porn is a fake imitation of intimacy that will, inevitably, cause a problem in their marriage. Husband says, "Not really."

I know that his statement was a bit of a dull ending, but it's the response that ends many conversations, unless you are of a violent breed who gets the last word by making sure that the other person is forever silenced. Is this particular scenario fabricated? Yes. It is true? Definitely.

- - - 

I overheard a woman in the book store who was complaining to her boyfriend, and following the context clues, I concluded that it was about his interest in looking at the literature he chose to browse in the 'Mature' reading section. Being the sleuth that I am, I walked by to see their faces. The woman was a young, soon-to-be mother, and her partner (I imagine) was no more than 24. He reached for a book that had the cover of Asa Akira on it. If you are not familiar with who she is, I suggest googling her under a private browser. The woman's comments sounded like this, in variation, of course:

"Who would even buy that?" ... "Why are you looking at that?" ... "Is this necessary?" ... "What does this mean for us" ... "Would you want your daughter's boyfriend looking at that instead of her?"                                                                    

  (The last one was how I knew they were related)

Women have a tendency to believe that a man in possession of porn is, somehow, cheating on his relationship with her. Well, I'll tell you right now... I am still uncertain if this is the case. What I do know, however, is that if there is something that two people in a relationship do not agree on, and one person is not willing to be open-minded, or change, then there is little hope for survival. Two addicts in love will always stay in love as long as they never get clean. Is porn addicting? To some.

To the lady whose conversation I heard at B&N last night, I recommend reading up on what Asa Akira is doing if you feel so inclined to believe that he's risking your relationship. Watch, read or listen to it with him. While there must be something about porn that he is attracted to, there is also something about you, my dear, that he loves. Don't be quick to take offense to this late night book browsing at night.


On another note: Do you think that there is a social cost to viewing pornography? What's at risk? Who suffers?


Let me know & comment below.

Best,
MM :)