Character: The Good "Bad" Boy

Photo Credit: Google

He's attractive: Tall, dark and handsome... working a good job (maybe even owns his own business), young and living with his parents (but has a nice agreement worked out where he's pulling his share), drives a car... a really nice car, and wants to spend time with you, but as a side chick. Damn!

It is almost guaranteed that in a world where the population is constantly rising that every girl will meet a few bad guys. I'm not talking about motorcycle, cigarette in hand, James Dean kind of bad, but I'm talking about the "he's going to give you everything you want, and give you everything in return at a price you can afford but should not be willing to pay" breed of bad. This guy can live and breathe luxury, eat and sleep hard-work, piss and shit golden bricks and have the ability to hand you the world on a silver platter... to share.

Photo Credit: Google

---

I don't think I need to say anymore than: I urge women to do better when it comes to men. I saw an article of a woman kissing the stomach of another woman who was pregnant... with her boyfriend. I though that threesomes lasted no more than an hour, never more than a year. This was their lifestyle, and though I'm being very judgmental, it was terrible to watch. To know that women give up hope on finding love, refuse to drop the dead weights and move on to something better because that is what they deserve is unfortunate. Don't let a man change your mind around to the point where he has you doing tricks for him.

Don't waste your time, ladies. Everything that glitters isn't always gold.


Best,
MM :)

It's Your Hump, Make The Most Of It

Everyone knows what a rebound is. For those who are unsure, or unfamiliar with the term, you've missed out. (Thankfully for you, I'm here to keep you up-to-date) A rebound is most popular as basketball terminology, referring to a ball that bounces back after striking the rim of the basketball hoop. However, it is going to be used in this post as it is often referenced in the modern day dating scene - also found on urbandictionary.com - "someone you date/go out with to keep yourself busy and you use him/her to keep your mind off your ex you (possibly) still have feelings for." Now, while this seems like a great prospect, there are a few damaging steps that can sprout from this circumstance... but who wants to talk about that?! I certainly won't. I am going to vent for a bit, however, about what you SHOULD and SHOULD NOT do to avoid any misunderstandings between you and your rebound, keeping them in their place (FRIENDzone) and you in yours (FREEzone).

Image Credit: Marni's Wing Girl Method

The WORST case scenario for a rebounding situation is that... well... the rebound traps you and you end up in a real relationship. This is no bueno (no good). Imagine: it's taken a while for you to exit one relationship, mostly because you still have attachments to the ex, and your rebound catches you at the most vulnerable time of your life (this may be over exaggerated), then you say... "OK." This kind of situation appears from a series of SHOULD NOT moves that have been made on both ends. The sequence of events usually happens like this...

POUR UP - breakup - HEAD SHOT - rebound - PASS OUT - sex - FADED - engaged  

Ok... maybe you don't come out engaged, but the pressure equivalent is pretty damn close, and the feeling of being in that new relationship is just as burdensome. Granted, an engagement is a beautiful moment in anyone's life. But what good is the right person if it is not the right time? Somewhere between  passing out and being faded, you both found yourselves in a clouded space, feasting on lust crusted hors d'oeuvres served on a wooden head board, and are convinced it feels so 'right.'

Image Credit: Beyonce Music Video

Let's be clear: the only thing that feels 'right' is the attention. Face it... had you not consumed so much that you became a life size bottle of Everclear, now slobbishly accessorized with purple and green Mardi gras beads, you would not be in the present circumstance, wondering how you are in a new relationship. Sulk, cry, drink and eat your weight in ice cream while watching Waiting To Exhale and listening to Not Gon' Cry (Mary J. Blige) - men, do you. But do not let your rebound interfere with this process. They are there to serve only one purpose, and it is not to be your therapist! That's what friends are for.

Image Credit: Young Body Nutrition

The BEST case scenario for a rebounding situation is that YOU pursue the rebound, and finalize a relationship that you are ready and prepared to take on. Though knowing when enough time has elapsed since your last break up is crucial to choosing a time to start dating again, it is even more of a surprise when you allow the person you have chosen for a rebound to slowly become more significant than 'another friend.' By initiating the steps in moving forward, you maintain control. No one can make a move unless you approve - sounds great, right? Well... That's because control over your situation is the 'right' feeling, and one that is always worth experiencing.


Be Happy!
MM :)

Trending: FWB (Friends With Benefits)

This one is for all of my female readers who have experienced, or are currently experiencing that awkward phase between being single and being in a relationship. This is about that trippy stage in life when the idea of making a life long commitment brings more fear than not having enough money to pay for bottles for your next house party. I'm talking about the "midlife crisis" status for those people who are between the ages of 18 and 25. (FWB stage for older women is called Cougar Craze, and Hefner Happy for older men - Blog Coming Soon!).  Despite the fact that this can be the most memorable part of a young persons life (a.k.a The Roaring 20's), it can also be one of the most unbearable, especially if you are the person in this situation knowing that this is not a circumstance that you want. Here is where I give a few hints - to female readers - on how to avoid simply being another temporary tasty trend, a fabulously fading fad or an easily replaceable routine.  

WARNING: This post is not intended to insult any male audiences. 

Image Credit: Nick Galifianakis

It is a known fact that men and women develop at different paces. This seems to be especially true for intimate relationships. I have a feeling that at some point between Puberty Place and Adulthood Alley, both sexes made a point to cross paths, leaving me to question this awkward location: WTF Way! The term relationship is already a word that holds a lot of weight, and because of that weight, many young adults prefer to hold out until later - whenever that may be. And this, I understand. There are a number of valid reasons for why people decide to put off entering into relationship; recent reak-up, primary focus is on a career, financial troubles (YES! You need $$), or just made parole and are no longer about that "I'll-do-anything-to-please-another-person-even-if it-means-I'll-go-to-jail" life. Again, I understand. However, what I do not understand is a person wanting all of the benefits of a relationship without having the courtesy to define/label it and give it the appropriate title. 

Yes! I am arguing that FWB is the modern day default choice of many people because they choose not to move forward towards a relationship, or regress and label it as a friendship. See ladies, what is more than likely going to happen is that you will get sucked into the most unfortunate place on WTF Way, which is a decorated dungeon shared between the Sex House and the Friendship House - the Bump Buddy basement. (Dun Dun Dunnnnnn!) Without a doubt, the worst feeling about FWB comes when feelings are realized for the person with whom you are intimately involved. It's reminiscent of a heartbreak. Being in an FWB situation does not promise the same amount of happiness that can potentially be present in an actual relationship. With FWB: All sex. Some fun. No love. 

Granted, some people may want these circumstances. But for those who do not, here are 3 ways to avoid giving the other person all of the authority to label your situation, and labeling you a FWB. 

1) Make Intentions Known: By telling your partner what your expectations are in the beginning of the relationship, you keep him on his toes. It also gives him a chance to rethink whether or not you two are on the same page at that particular point in your lives. Opening up in the beginning leaves no room for confusion later. Most importantly, stick by what it is that you claimed to have desired at the start. Do not change your mind and settle for what it is that he desires alone. Your feelings matter too. Never waste time by trying to please someone else, as there is a great chance that you will only be cheating yourself. By stating what you expect from this arrangement in the start, you keep the ball in your court. Play well!

Image Credit: SimplySquaredAway

2) Set A Time Limit: Not too long ago, a close friend told me that she sets time limits on new romantic arrangements. This time frame of 3 months was intended to give both parties a good amount of time to get to know each other before either became too comfortable. The default plan of action that hints that people have become comfortable is FWB, which is simply adding sex into the mix. Adding sex to an arrangement can be good for short term satisfaction, but it will never be helpful if the objective is to commit to a long term relationship. When two people become too comfortable with each other, they have a tendency to forget the goals of the relationship. This is never good, as it will only result in one person taking the lead, often leaving the opinion of the others behind. Always be the first one to suggest a change of pace, especially while everything is still fresh. Moving in a direction where one person takes control is not healthy under any circumstance. A partnership is a bond between two persons and not one. Action should be done together. Let the 3 month period act as a check point in your arrangement. Use it to decide what should happen next, or if you are happy with now. 

3) End It: If all else fails and he continues to play games, LEAVE. There is nothing worse than staying with a person who does not want the same things as you do. If you have been dating for less than 3 months, it shouldn't be too hard (I don't mean to be insensitive either). If you have been dating for 6 months or longer, this may be the hardest part. But think of what is best for you! Settling for someone who verbally acknowledges the fact that the two of you are not on the same page is a big NO-NO. It may be harder to leave, but it'll be worth it in the end. 

So, there it is. Yes, there are tons of other routes that can be taken to avoid this situation, but these are the ones that I think are best. Relationships are already difficult. Hope I made someone's process a little bit easier.