Shit That Kills: Lies

The majority of my blog posts are positive. If they aren't positive, then they are about turning negative attributes into positive ones. This was not intentional, just something that was brought to my attention. As of recent, a series of events have occurred in my life that aren't so positive. Not knowing how to spin it into something optimistic, I chose to neglect the blog and put the pen down. To be completely honest, I saw nothing hopeful about my circumstances. Just because I saw nothing hopeful, however, doesn't mean that someone else didn't.

Like a stubborn damsel in distress I ignored my knight and shining armor's advice concerning the impediments that wouldn't simply leave me alone and kick rocks, and chose to wallow in my own mess. Looking back, bad idea. But that's not the moral. It wasn't until it was told to me that writing during the times of trouble/heartache/distress/shit are the moments worth recording that I found real inspiration. So, my apologies to my readers, and thank-you O Wise One for endowing me with the strength to write about the shit that bugs me. 

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 Lying

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The worst type of liar is the person who believes their own bullshit. If you come across a person who is comfortable and confident about feeding you scenarios that never happened, words that sound too hard to believe or blessings that don't seem genuine, then you have a serious problem on your hands. It should come to no surprise, however, that many people have come to believe that the 'white lie' is real, and therefore excuses anyone from telling the absolute truth - all of it. This is the biggest piece of shit I've ever heard! How are you going to lie, label it with a color, and be excused from the bullshit you just fed me?! What the hell?! Is the color meant to be a distraction of some sort? If you need a color to label the lie then you need to step your lie game up, because it must not have been that good in the first place if you need a gimmic to validate it. 

Photo Credit: Google

And this whole, 'partial truth' - stop it people! It's called lying by omission! Yes! I said it! If you didn't tell me the whole truth then You. Are. LYYINGGGGGG. There is no grey area for me when it comes to lying. Either its right or wrong, left or right, truth or lie, God or the Devil... you can't be in the Michael phase of your life. 

[For those of you who don't know, that's the name given to Lucifer (aka Satan), when he was the leader of all angels, before he was banished from Heaven. This would be considered a gray area. NO! You're the Devil or not. See that photo to the right: NOT POSSIBLE! No cute Devil's. Not real. Stop it. That's it.] 

I will not lie and say the I am perfect. I have lied before for a variety of reasons. I do, as a young woman now, have certain standards to which I hold myself, however, because I know the pain it can cause. It is UNACCEPTABLE to lie in a relationship; whether it is intimate or with a close friend, and parents... unless you are financially independent of them and stable on your own, because then whatever you're lying about it probably none of their business, and they can't shut off your phone, light, heat, water, starve you, cut you off the insurance plan, etc. 

It is an insult, in my opinion, if you believe that the person you are lying to is not worthy of knowing the truth. It is soooo annoying when the truth finally comes out and the liar looks stupid and feels bad, knowing they shouldn't have done it in the first place. More than anything else, TRUST is broken. I'm told that it takes 7 good things to happen in order to undo one bad. Doesn't that sound expensive to you? I'm talking EXPENSIIIIIVEEEE, especially if you really want that person to trust you right away. Then again, the problem with that is the person will probably no longer believe your efforts are genuine since you're rushing to fix the issue. See, in this situation, everything is just a hot mess. Avoid it. 

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This post was inspired by an experience I had when someone really close to me lied to my face. The result? Forgiveness. Moving forward... My advice? Forgive a person for every mistake they made... but keep track of the shit that kills, because forgiving someone for the same thing twice means it's not a mistake and is no longer acceptable. 

Photo Credit: Google

Best,

MM :)

Trust Your Gut

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From a young age (nowadays), females are being brainwashed with images of what it means to be an attractive person. While the personality, intelligence, and lifelong aspirations are pushed on the back burner, appearance seems to be the only thing that matters. While I am apart of this generation that emphasizes the importance of keeping up with the Jones' (anyone labeled as a model, mentioned in the media, celebrities, etc.),  I have come to realize that this is not all that matters. Okay... well, I've known this for a while. My reasons for writing this blog post is due to my recent interest in physical beauty resurfacing.

I was teased as a middle-schooler because I was pretty, but my body wasn't built like a black girls.  (Sadly, it began then). I didn't care until it became the trend in high school as well. You needed an athletic build to get attention. (Let's not act as if wanting attention was bad). High school flew by and college came. Somewhere between those two milestones, make-up became the biggest craze. Naturally, I wanted that too. I had never been so critical of myself. When I look back on it, it's a complete turn off. I wore more make-up to my high school graduation than ever before... but I liked it. I was complimented on it. I couldn't see what they saw, but I liked how it felt, and that's all that mattered... I should've did a bit more reflection back then because it must have been a reason I never ordered graduation photos.

Present day and I have not worn foundation, concealer, eye liner, powder, blush, eye shadow, or lip gloss in about 3 months. I've decided my natural face is all that's necessary and here's why:

I looked online and found a ton of imagine of beautiful women who are considered role models for today's females. From models, actresses, music artists, to CEO's and the like; all of them have outstanding profiles and inspiring stories. The media's way of bashing them, however, is by posting photos of women without make-up, fresh cuts/weaves, and open toed sandals with no nail polish. I mean, everyone has their off days, so why are we in total shock if they have them too? Why must a woman be deemed unattractive if she wears the make-up she was born with? What is the value of an hour-glass figure in comparison to one that is built like a pear, apple, orange, or mango (whatever that looks like) - You get my point, right? Just look at the chart.

Photo Credit: Google

If not, here it is: I do not want to promote the overuse of make-up or physical appearance. The keyword: OVERUSE. Too much of anything can hurt you. Does this mean I will never wear make-up again? Of course not. Though I have not used them in a while, I love my Sue Devitt and Juice Beauty lines (JB is organic, by the way- GREAT for skin). I simply will not promote the daily use of it. Will I never workout again? This too is rhetorical. But for those who wish to receive an answer - No. While I am guilty for overdoing the use of the gym, I have decided to remember that 'more gym' does not mean 'better health.' Overexercising can be detrimental to one's health, especially women (so I've learned). I cannot say if I abused the gym for purposes of changing my figure, releasing stress, or maintaining good health. But I can say that I am very aware of the difference. And I choose to keep my gut, thank-you very much.

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As far as my advice is concerned, I would hope that all of the female readers can appreciate my opinions and understand that this is not throwing shade to the work-out-aholics, or face-paint-beauties. If you feel that the way you portray yourself is the epitome of beauty, then go on boo-boo, do you! But for the ladies who are striving to be what you are not, I advise you to take the time to think about what it is that makes you happy about yourself. Of course, the idea of yourself does not change overnight. In due time, it will. Just make sure you are relishing in the true beauty that you have for now. To the male readers who have managed to stay interested in reading this post, and have made it this far, remind the ladies in your life of how much you admire their beauty, INSIDE and out. It is very often that a woman does a great deal of changing herself for her male counterpart.

I do not want to give off the idea that there are some woman who fear being seen without makeup. Here are two that I admire.

Photo Credit: Google

Photo Credit: Nairaland.com

                         




Thanks for reading,
MM :)

When I Suck For Free

Contrary to popular belief, it is not that difficult to be the kind of person that anyone would like to be around. Do you have to do certain things? Yes. Will you end up sacrificing a bit of yourself for causes that you may not want to support? Maybe. Have I done it? Sure. Who hasn't. Will I do it again? NOT! Twenty years young, and I am no longer into pleasing others the way I once was when I was in middle school. I am much more into being myself, maybe even more of myself than people can handle from the start, just to test a person's ability to handle it all. Recently, I've been told that people gravitate most towards those persons who would show characteristics of being "real" (expressing the entire spectrum of emotions) than "fake" (one more than others, ONLY when in the presence of particular people). Now, if more '"fake" people are going to come my way so they can feed off of my positive energy, then I'd rather be "fake" for the moment and suck for free.

Image Credit: HDWallpaper

I have not heard anyone tell me that I am a difficult person to be around, but I do imagine that I can be when I want to be (like everyone else in the world). In saying that, it is not difficult for me to get someone to dislike me. This is something you want to be careful with, however. The worst case scenario will end up in you showing your ass to someone who means something to you. Don't be stupid.

Image Credit: ThePajamaPundit

The trick to getting someone to not like you is doing all the things that irritate them. Be the annoying little sister that every man would be more than grateful not to have ever had. Do your best to go out of your way to bug the hell out of that person. Make sure that you are consistent in your pranks, unforgiving in your actions, and words. Make it hurt! I say this with confidence because it has proven to work. I am not saying that I do not like people - I love the company of others. However, in the words of Keri Hilson, everyone has a breaking point. When I have reached my breaking point, I am not the friendliest person to be around. I would even recommend staying away from me at that point.

Despite this immature advice, it works. If it is not your cup of tea, I advise you to be mature about it: walk up to the person and tell them that you want them to leave you alone. If that is not clear enough, ignore them.

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Image Credit: WallpaperStock

On a more serious note: life is TOO short. Settle your differences amongst those people who have qualities that you dislike, and make life an easier living for yourself and others.






Stay happy!
MM :)