Character: The Unprofessional Professional

You network with someone and they turn out to be the complete opposite of what you thought they were. Here's the example:

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They brag about their past accolades, which intrigues you upon initial contact, so you give them an extra five minutes to see where the conversation may lead. When they start talking about what makes them different from other people in their field, you think that you've struck gold and found a person who understands professionalism like you do because all of the things that make them unique are all of the things that you have been seeking in another individual to work with/for. The fact that they cannot seem to take a breath in between their listings of awful past experiences with other posing professionals is thrilling because it's almost as if you've found your career twin- one who knows exactly what it is that you, too, have gone through and would never want to experience ever again. You drown out their voice for a second to think back to the beginning of your interaction, and start to rate the firmness of their grip of their handshake, the truthfulness that lies in their making eye contact with you at all times, the accuracy for the pattern of pleats in her skirt or the accuracy of the tailor's work on the pants of his suit, the brilliance in their dental cleaning, and the way in which their body language screamed "I am Harvey Spector" or "I am Jessica Pearson" in a sway that only a smooth, New York lawyer can pull off on his best day at work. By the time you've zoned back into the conversation, you're being handed a business card and invited to experience their services. You wait for the moment you need them the most - just so that they know that you aren't desperate.

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The day finally comes... and they are late, unkempt, unclean - yes, their office/work space is untidy, unacceptable, and above all... (need I say it?)... unprofessional. They give excuses for everything: their alarm clock was either set to the wrong time or didn't go off at all, their pet needed attention for the first time in the 12 years since they adopted it, their hair situation is a result of rushing and not having been able to take a complete shower, as if to say that taking a half shower is even possible! Their breakfast was nonexistent, which left their stomach practically begging for McDonalds, Dunkin' Donuts, or some cheap, fast-food meal that would hold them over until they were finished with you, because their appetite is of the kind that eats too frequently, and medication has to be taken with food. Speaking of!... the medication has them all over the place emotionally, which is probably why they are disheveled, funky and did I mention, unprofessional?

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When you are working with a professional, these things never happen. I repeat: NEVER happen. So, unless you are ready to take ownership of your own brand and have placed your business as a priority over everything, let's be careful with using the term, 'professional' because there is only one way to 'do professional.' And if you're not doing it right, don't claim to be doing it at all.

Best,
MM :)

Trust Your Gut

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From a young age (nowadays), females are being brainwashed with images of what it means to be an attractive person. While the personality, intelligence, and lifelong aspirations are pushed on the back burner, appearance seems to be the only thing that matters. While I am apart of this generation that emphasizes the importance of keeping up with the Jones' (anyone labeled as a model, mentioned in the media, celebrities, etc.),  I have come to realize that this is not all that matters. Okay... well, I've known this for a while. My reasons for writing this blog post is due to my recent interest in physical beauty resurfacing.

I was teased as a middle-schooler because I was pretty, but my body wasn't built like a black girls.  (Sadly, it began then). I didn't care until it became the trend in high school as well. You needed an athletic build to get attention. (Let's not act as if wanting attention was bad). High school flew by and college came. Somewhere between those two milestones, make-up became the biggest craze. Naturally, I wanted that too. I had never been so critical of myself. When I look back on it, it's a complete turn off. I wore more make-up to my high school graduation than ever before... but I liked it. I was complimented on it. I couldn't see what they saw, but I liked how it felt, and that's all that mattered... I should've did a bit more reflection back then because it must have been a reason I never ordered graduation photos.

Present day and I have not worn foundation, concealer, eye liner, powder, blush, eye shadow, or lip gloss in about 3 months. I've decided my natural face is all that's necessary and here's why:

I looked online and found a ton of imagine of beautiful women who are considered role models for today's females. From models, actresses, music artists, to CEO's and the like; all of them have outstanding profiles and inspiring stories. The media's way of bashing them, however, is by posting photos of women without make-up, fresh cuts/weaves, and open toed sandals with no nail polish. I mean, everyone has their off days, so why are we in total shock if they have them too? Why must a woman be deemed unattractive if she wears the make-up she was born with? What is the value of an hour-glass figure in comparison to one that is built like a pear, apple, orange, or mango (whatever that looks like) - You get my point, right? Just look at the chart.

Photo Credit: Google

If not, here it is: I do not want to promote the overuse of make-up or physical appearance. The keyword: OVERUSE. Too much of anything can hurt you. Does this mean I will never wear make-up again? Of course not. Though I have not used them in a while, I love my Sue Devitt and Juice Beauty lines (JB is organic, by the way- GREAT for skin). I simply will not promote the daily use of it. Will I never workout again? This too is rhetorical. But for those who wish to receive an answer - No. While I am guilty for overdoing the use of the gym, I have decided to remember that 'more gym' does not mean 'better health.' Overexercising can be detrimental to one's health, especially women (so I've learned). I cannot say if I abused the gym for purposes of changing my figure, releasing stress, or maintaining good health. But I can say that I am very aware of the difference. And I choose to keep my gut, thank-you very much.

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As far as my advice is concerned, I would hope that all of the female readers can appreciate my opinions and understand that this is not throwing shade to the work-out-aholics, or face-paint-beauties. If you feel that the way you portray yourself is the epitome of beauty, then go on boo-boo, do you! But for the ladies who are striving to be what you are not, I advise you to take the time to think about what it is that makes you happy about yourself. Of course, the idea of yourself does not change overnight. In due time, it will. Just make sure you are relishing in the true beauty that you have for now. To the male readers who have managed to stay interested in reading this post, and have made it this far, remind the ladies in your life of how much you admire their beauty, INSIDE and out. It is very often that a woman does a great deal of changing herself for her male counterpart.

I do not want to give off the idea that there are some woman who fear being seen without makeup. Here are two that I admire.

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Thanks for reading,
MM :)

English Literature: #WhyItDoesn'tWork

I've spent years in school taking Honors English courses, assisting students in writing and editing papers, reading magazines and 'classic' English literature, kept a journal and a blog, then took a trip to London to get 'cultured,' and I still don't have a job. Honestly, I pray to God that this diploma that I'm working for is the golden ticket that I need to get a good job to start some sort of career that won't have me begging on the streets. When you think hard enough about it, school is a business, and the student is the client. As a client who has invested a great deal in their services, and is still under-qualified for every job opening in the professional world, leaving me with an 'unemployed' status, I'm learning that there are a few downfalls to being in school.

Photo Credit: The Traveling Squid

Now wait! I am not saying that education is not something that I value. What I am saying, however, is that the primary means for which we are having to attain the education sets us up for... very little. 

You must either believe in luck, have a network of high-profile people, or be related to anyone who works in the position you wish to be in for people to even consider taking a look at your resume. I was told by a professional at my school that by taking classes, reading books, writing articles, networking and patience is all that was needed for me to land the perfect job that allows me to do what it is that I want to do with my degree: write for a company who needs a writer. Unfortunately, every person I've spoken to who works as a writer has told me that the last thing that I need to do is take more classes in English literature. Apparently, the classics are not a bit of help in the professional world of writing. That's right! Austen, Bronte, Wilde, Shakespeare, Ibsen, etc. are doing nothing for me. I'm starting to see the textbooks as supplementary goods to the overall product (a college education). "So... what good are they?" I ask. 

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I'm learning to be more open to the word 'alternative,' especially since most things have not gone as planned since the end of the last school year. I have had to come up with different ways to occupy my mind, make money, make time then divide it amongst the people I care about. I have had to become creative with my plans for the future. I have used resources, ones that my school librarians would not recommend (like Google), to research ideas on how to make the most of the time that I have while I'm not in a classroom. 

As I mentally prepare myself to reenter the dreaded room of individual seats and creaking desks, I challenge you think of new ways to invent the life that you wish to live. Imagine a world where books were the only teachers, and all knowledge was simply handed from the author, then you went into the world more informative than whence you began. Imagine a time where you were your own teacher: the world (exotic countries, cities, etc.) would be your textbooks, interactions would be your projects, the amount of friendships you accumulated would be your grades, and the constant enhancement of happiness would be your pay. 

Photo Credit: NBC

See, I told you I believe that education is important, but I feel it needs to be redefined. Formal education has turned into a means for reinforcing social hierarchies. The flaw is in the whole ranking system, however, being that some people are simply bad test takers and grades will, therefore, never reflect the amount of knowledge they have acquired from a particular course. My point? Every thing is not always as it appears. I mean, my English literature classes had syllabi with a whole host of 'great' authors listed next to the names of the texts I'd be reading. I'm sure no one fathomed that they would only end up being of most use to me by being sold on Amazon. 

Question everything people.

Best,

MM :)